China is not Trying to Poison Us

...we're just using their products all wrong.

From today's WSJ.

Mattel Inc.'s recall of nearly one million lead-tainted toys shows the challenge Chinese companies increasingly pose for U.S. partners: how to benefit from low-priced goods without getting torpedoed by safety and regulatory risks.

The Mattel recall, comprising 83 types of toys from its Fisher-Price unit, involves excessive levels of lead paint in toys -- a common problem in China despite lead-paint regulations both there and in the U.S.

Blah blah blah. Second verse, same as the first. Now for the interesting part.

The Chinese government has tried to reassure consumers about the safety of its products. Chinese Minister of Commerce Bo Xilai said this week that more than 99% of Chinese exports are safe and of good quality.

I have to say this is true. Much of the food they ship to us does not contain lead paint. Many of their toys do not contain poisonous, plastic solvents used to make the measured protein levels higher. Can they help it if we stupid Americans aren't following the simple instructions, written in Chinese, on the labels?

This topical ointment toy for small children contains very little lead paint.
I mean, would it kill us to learn a second language? What's the point of being multicultural if we can't understand what they're saying (and warning us about on the product labels)? We make this big deal about how literate we are, but when it comes to crunch time and we need to read, just where are we? I think this calls for a massive increase in education spending. Come to think of it, doesn't everything call for massive increases in education spending?

This delicious food product contains only minute traces of plastic solvents.
(Testing for biological contaminants is still incomplete.)
How much easier do they have to make it for us?