With this in mind, I need an excuse. I need a bunch of excuses. I even need an excuse for Zeus, who is waiting a special reward I've promised as well. So for Zeus and Southern Girl and anyone else I owe a blog post to, here's this week's Thursday 13.
13 Reasons I Haven't Written That Blog Post Yet
1. I'm tired.
2. I'm cranky.
3. I'm tired and cranky.
4. I'm tired, cranky and am too busy playing Age of Empires on the computer.
5. I am suffering from such severe halitosis that the vapor coming out of my mouth is obscuring the keyboard and monitor. I think the mouse just melted.
6. A Madonna song came on the radio. Since my arms were full at the time, I couldn't get to the off switch and suffered through the whole thing. Overcome by nausea, I spent an hour lying down on my bed with a cool, wet washcloth on my forehead.
7. I let Jacob the Syrian Hamster loose to run around his room and he hid behind the filing cabinet again. It took half an hour, four dozen sunflower seeds and a small vacuum cleaner to extract him.
8. Someone switched my coffee to decaf.
9. I'm currently blogging from my handheld because I'm in jail after threatening to kill the person who switched my coffee to decaf.
10. My daughter left one of her beanie babies on my computer chair and I didn't notice it before I sat down. It was "Stabby the Unicorn." I'm sitting in the proctologist's waiting room right now. Don't ask.
11. After joining Cindy Sheehan's Liquid Fast for Peace, I discovered that Pork Frappe is a liquid. With the proper application of BBQ sauce and hickory smoking, it's also quite delicious particularly when followed with a milkshake chaser. I've gained 536 pounds and can no longer fit through the door of my computer room.
12. In an effort to find more time for blogging, I invented a time travel device. Unfortunately, I can't seem to put the thing in reverse and all I've managed to do is lose 53 hours 16 minutes of my life.
And the final excuse for not blogging is...
13. Our Maximum Leader, K T Cat herself, was on the computer the whole time.
The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!
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You were my first stop. What a great way to start a Thursday!
ReplyDeleteTake care,
Frances
You know, cats don't need excuses...
ReplyDeleteOMG, I am dying here. #5 and #13(?)--the one about the beanie baby--were the best.
ReplyDeleteLove it. Thanks for the big belly laughs.
The unicorn assault was hilarious, but not as much as the 536 pounds gained from the Pork Frappee in Cindy Sheehan's liquid fast.
ReplyDeleteCan't fit through the computer room door--with a stuffed unicorn sticking out of your ass.
A priceless image that will continue to make me throw up a little bit in my mouth throughout the day and keep me writhing with nightmares all night long!
Great TT!
This was absolutely hilarious! An excellent TT! Ta for now dahling!
ReplyDeleteThis was absolutely hilarious! An excellent TT! Ta for now dahling!
ReplyDelete*snort*
ReplyDeleteIt's a darn good thing I didn't have your high test coffee in my mouth when I read this!
Oops. Did I say that? It wasn't me that switched your coffee, honest!
teehee
omg the Pork Frapee got me..hahah!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laughs, and thanks for staying far, far away - you know...the halitosis and stuff ;~)
Those are some of the best excuses I've heard in a while!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks for the laugh--the BBQ one was my fave!
Happy TT
LOL! Very clever. ;) And being the human of a cat, I know that #13 is impossible to overcome. hee!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, no worries about the delay -- I appreciate the plug for the BMDMI no matter when it comes. :)
Thanks for stopping by my TT!
great list - I was almost falling off my seat laughing! Thanks for leaving a comment about my poetry!
ReplyDeleteThis is my feline thursday and I love it! your TT is hilarious (sorry about the 536 pounds, though) and hope you can go back to normal posting soon...no excuses needed. Happy TT :)
ReplyDeleteLOL! Beanie baby injury!!!
ReplyDeleteThx for stopping by!
Switching from regular to decaf unknowingly will do it everytime.
ReplyDeleteI honestly am content on waiting forever, K.T.! Don't worry about me - I'm very polite and patient! I'm sorry you've gained so much weight and have to now be anally expressed due to the unicorn horn. I hope everything works out for the best, but in the meanwhile, you might want to take a few walks around the block and lay off the Pork Frappe.
ReplyDeleteToo funny - I was definitely having one of those cranky mornings as well.
ReplyDeletei gave up decaf years ago, it's the devil for me!
ReplyDeleteSo that's where my DECAF went! :) You really had me laughing at this list! I love your humor.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting.
So that's where my DECAF went! :) You really had me laughing at this list! I love your humor.
ReplyDeleteThanks for visiting.
We're on the same wavelength. Mine was 13 excuses for posting late :)
ReplyDeleteSo, you're computer is not controlled by a mouse... it's controlled by a cat ;-)
ReplyDeleteA handsome one too....
Good luck with the time reverse machine :-)
I could need one that just s l o w s d o w n the time.
LOL! LOL! LOL! You made me laugh out loud, thank you.
ReplyDeleteI added myself to your Thursday 13 but I need to figure out what it is! I'm a first-timer and am just getting the hang of things! :)
ReplyDelete5. I am suffering from such severe halitosis that the vapor coming out of my mouth is obscuring the keyboard and monitor. I think the mouse just melted.
ReplyDeleteAhahaha!!!!