Thursday, July 19, 2018

Keurigs Make Horrible Coffee

Our Keurig 2 is dying and I couldn't be happier.

Its screen is on the fritz*, which is the way most of them die. That makes sense as the thing is a tub of water, a heating element, a thermostat and a small computer with a tiny screen running DOS 3.2. The computer/screen is the only item on that list with an MTBF not measured in decades.

Anyway, I'm glad to see it go. It makes ghastly coffee, it's a pain to use and the cups are expensive. It's the ultimate 21st Century device - it costs a lot, looks modern and does something that a much simpler thing could do better. I'm sure the Keurig 4 will be connected to the Internet.

We stopped using the Keurig as a Keurig a while back. I make French press in the mornings and the only thing the Keurig did for me was dispense 12 oz of hot water into my press. My wife likes decaf, so we buy the beans at Costco, grind them and then use the little, plastic, reusable K-Cup cartridges we have to fill ourselves while spilling coffee grounds all over the counter. Meh.

I made cold press overnight for the first time, bypassing the Keurig entirely. I heated a mug of it in the microwave and it was comparable to the French press I usually have. In any case, the Keurig was extraneous. Wife kitteh has bought a simple kettle that will replace the Keurig. It's smaller, prettier and will do just what we need done.

Finally, I could only find one K-cup brand I thought was decent. Black Rifle Coffee makes some good ones, but they cost about a dollar a serving. I'm not paying a dollar for a cup of coffee I make myself. That just ain't happening especially when the coffee is at best mediocre.

So farewell, Keurig. And good riddance.

* - I'm sorry for using technical terms like this, but I don't have a better way to say it.


Mostly Nothing said...

I've been thinking about planned obsolescence lately. Other than cars, nothing lasts like things made in the past.

Quality is a thing of the past.

K T Cat said...

My phone would agree with you. It's a Galaxy S7 and as new OS updates come in, the thing gets slower and slower. It's happened with all of my phones. I use them for simple things, like Maps, photos, texting and Twitter. Not a lot of apps and only the simplest of games. After 2 years they are noticeably slower and at 3 years, they are practically unusable.

tim eisele said...

I'd wondered about that. To a casual glance, it sure looks like a Keurig is just a syrup-reconstituter, and I didn't really see what it could possibly be doing that would be worth the money - if you like the stuff in the K-cup, couldn't you just pour it into a cup of boiling water and get the same effect?

(not that I personally would care about the product, since I think that coffee tastes like bitterness and regret and I don't care for the effects caffeine has on my brain, but as an engineer the *process of making* things like this interest me).

K T Cat said...

Wait, is there something wrong with bitterness and regret? Why doesn't anyone tell me these things? I've wasted decades pursuing them!