Saturday, March 03, 2018

Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Is Terrible

I could only stomach about 40 minutes of it. Hopefully it was less than that.

Somewhere in Hollywood, probably on every computer associated with movie production, is a Microsoft Word document describing how straight, white, conservative, male characters can be portrayed. Three Billboards had the full range of them. There was the abusive ex-husband, the bigot cop, the incompetent sheriff who covered up for the bigot and maybe someone else. My mind is blanking on the rest because after 30-40 minutes, I wanted to puke. I'm sure there was a plucky, gay dude somewhere in the film, just to give the homophobes in the audience the finger. If not, expect protests at the Oscar. Whatever. In the movie, when the racist cop arrested the black woman for possession of marijuana, I left the room to do something more rewarding like pouring sand into my eyes.

It's so mind-numbingly boring. The plots are irrelevant when the characters are all the same. The interactions that make up the movie are so predictable that the narrative arc becomes secondary to the fact that you can see all of the dialog a mile away.

I dunno, maybe one of the dudes had a redemption. If so, it's the same redemption people like me always have. We become more like them, because that's what redemption is.

If anyone ever made a movie from the true story of my life, the studio would be burned to the ground by enraged progressives protesting the sheer "hate" of the thing. As I tried to watch Three Billboards, I thought about that. I watched the non-me characters and put some of the ones from my life in their places. I guess that's why I quit watching. It was all so much rubbish.

On a related note, sperm counts are dropping.
Researchers from Hebrew University-Hadassah Braun School of Public Health and Community Medicine in Jerusalem announced this week that sperm count in men residing in developed countries has dropped by a whopping 50 percent over the past 40 years.
Now there's a shock.

By way of contrast, here's Away All Boats, a second-string, Navy, war movie from 1956. It's not scintillating, but it has men doing man things, behaving and speaking like men. It couldn't be made today.


ligneus said...

So a large group of people put in a lot of work and a lot of money to do something they must have believed worthwhile and it's a pile of crap. They must be narcissistic ideologues with not a lick of sense or self awareness amongst the lot of them.

I hardly ever watch movies, don't have the time or patience for them. In light of that suggest a must see for me. [Oh, forgot to say please. Manners!]

Ohioan@Heart said...

I can recommend two recent movies. “Dunkirk” and “Darkest Hour”. They both stick to something close to the actual historical facts and are well done. Curiously they both cover the same short period of time.

K T Cat said...

ligneus, I would suggest that they just don't know us.

Ohioan - I saw some of Dunkirk on a plane recently. It seemed decent enough.

ligneus said...

Thanks for the suggestions but I won't be taking them up, I'd rather read John Lukasc's Five Days in London; May 1940.
At the moment I'm reading Churchill's Trial by Larry Arn, very good.

The other problem I have with movies is I always see people acting parts, silly to say and it's just me. If I see a doctor in a movie, all serious, talking to a patient say, and I think how can a grown man be pretending to be a doctor in such a serious manner? I suppose that not many movies can transcend that, one that I saw and got 'lost' in was Babbette's Feast. Not too many like that.
Bet I sound like a real grouch! Maybe it's getting old and guarding what time you have left with care.

So something to make up for it.

ligneus said...

More explanation which I meant to include in comment above.

K T Cat said...

ligneus, what a haunting song!

ligneus said...

Glad you liked it.

It's a funny old world where such as Janis Joplin is a world wide superstar and Anita Carter is somewhat in the shadows. I wonder how many toes I'm stepping on!