So we sent Iran planeloads of cash and gold. Literally, cash and gold, like some kind of drug deal payoff. I've started wondering what the negotiations looked like from the Iranian point of view. After decades of being told to pound sand by American diplomats, they finally got to sit across the table from a set obsessed with making a deal. Any deal. I'm guessing it went something like this.
John Kerry: And now, we'd like to negotiate the repayment of your frozen assets.
Iranian negotiator Mohammed: You'd what?!?
Kerry: We'd like to negotiate the repayment of your frozen assets.
Iranian negotiator Achmed: Yes, yes, of course! (Silently kicking himself for seeming so eager.)
Kerry: How much would you like?
Mohammed to Achmed quietly: Quick, Achmed, what's the biggest number you can think of?
Achmed (blurting out): Err, one point seven billion dollars!
Kerry: That sounds fine.
Kerry wanders out of the room, smugly proud at what a great negotiator he is.
Mohammed and Achmed as they do a double face palm, realizing they could have gotten anything they wanted: Argh! We asked for too little!