Wednesday, March 16, 2016

A Super Duper Tuesday Hangover Bernie Sanders Conspiracy Theory

I didn't drink enough last night. No matter how much I had, it wasn't enough. Not that it matters all that much, given the nation's fiscal, cultural and diplomatic momentum. Turning this bad boy around is going to take a lot of work.

In any case, it's shaping up to be the criminal hag vs. the megalomaniac. Oh joy.

But wait! Is there something else lying in wait for us? How about this crazy idea -

The Democratic Party convention and the completion of the FBI investigation of Team Hildebeast's espionage crimes might just coincide. Let's say they do and we find out what we already know - Hagotron and her henchcreatures are guilty of mountains of felonies. The Administration stalls the indictment, but some FBI investigators resign in protest and spill the beans to the press. Unconvinced, Hillary's succubi in the media remain loyal until high-level, ultra-lefty members of the Administration begin a whisper campaign against her as well.

Hit from the left and the right, some of Hillary's newsmedia trolls, who secretly prefer out-and-out socialism to creepy, err, creeping socialism, turn on her and waves upon waves of revelations come forth. Drowning in a tsunami of her own filth, Hillary is pushed to withdraw in a screaming match with party elders* that is secretly recorded. The video is pushed to YouTube where the public witnesses Hillary behaving like a creature from the lower regions of Hell. Which she is.

The populists in the Socialist, err, Democratic Party then arise and demand Sanders be named head of the Politburo or whatever it is they call their nominee. Humiliated, Hillary steps aside, a broken harpy.

Bernie then goes on to trounce Trump triumphantly as the Republican party will have splintered and donors won't know which way to go. Trump's billions are revealed to be tens of millions and he can't finance his own campaign.

So practice saying it. "President Bernie Sanders."

Shortly thereafter, weed is legalized all over the country, giving us a much-needed escape from the ensuing insanity.
* - Can they get any elder than Hillary and Bernie? Not sure.


Jedi Master Ivyan said...

The youtube video would be entertaining, at least.

K T Cat said...

You gotta look on the bright side!

Ilíon said...

Are there any bright sides in a land in which not only is almost no one willing to speak the truth about its would-be rulers, but actively suppresses the truth?

Kelly the little black dog said...

I miss when you used to write crazy fiction.

I'm afraid nothing will happen to HRC regardless of what is dug up by the FBI. And step aside, no I don't see that. that would be time for the knives to come out. Can't run a dead candidate.

K T Cat said...

Ilion, we did away with the truth decades ago. Where have you been. You have your truth and I have mine.

Kelly, I'm on the fence about the Hildebeast's chances of indictment. This stuff is really bad. Far worse than anything else they've ever done by a couple orders of magnitude.

Ilíon said...

"Can't run a dead candidate."

I don't see why Democrats cannot run a dead candidate. For them, that would jest be "throwing a bone" to a core constituency.