Monday, March 30, 2015

From The Spam Mailbag

One of my email accounts is quite old and has been splattered across the Interweb Tubes. It gives me endless hours of fun (?) reviewing emails with subject lines like these. Enjoy.

Grow your own bananas for pennies. Is this safe for work?

Create an email masterpiece. Email and masterpiece aren't two words that can go together in the same sentence. I'm pretty sure the rules of English grammar forbid it.

Don't look away from the road again. Maps are overrated.

Are you tired of flimsy food storage containers? Not since I started using ammunition boxes from the Marine Corps!

Discover the 3 simple secrets that complete the Law of Attraction. Lots of money, a cute rumpus and lots more money.

Blow out sale on printer ink. An ink blowout? Sounds wretched. I'll pass.

Do this every morning with coconut oil. We already do. ;-)

Let us help protect your family. Guido and Nunzio will be by later today to collect the monthly premium.

Master self protection in 3 minutes. Use both hands and squeeze the trigger, don't pull. Also, buy a Bengal tiger as a pet.

Walk-in bathtubs are designed for comfort and safety. But they're not as much fun as two-person showers.

Instant mind control. Instant mind control.

Mom turns $97 into $7397. By adding a 7 and a 3 to the beginning of the numbers.

We get rid of your unwanted timeshare!

1 comment:

tim eisele said...

I think it would be really interesting to see some numbers for how many hits spammers actually get, and how much money they really pull in. Given the poor quality of the spams I see, they clearly aren't putting in much effort. I would not be at all surprised to find out that the average spammer is flooding out all this crap in return for just a few dollars a day. Or that it is a bunch of massive pyramid schemes, with a few people making decent money writing and selling spamming tools to gullible people who think they will get rich quick as spammers, but end up making practically nothing.