Time stood still. And then it started to go backwards.
This is ridiculous. We need a better way to hand out the diplomas. Here are just a few of the ideas we discussed, while laughing until we cried:
- "And now we will hand out the diplomas. If you don't get yours within 10 minutes of being called, your degree will be rescinded. ... Abramson through Edwards! Go, Go, GO!" (Mad rush of graduates ensues.)
- "The degrees being conferred have been ordered by average starting salary and will be handed out in that sequence regardless of which classes you've taken. First ones to the stage get the most money! Go, Go, GO!" (Crazed rush ensues.)
- The degrees were contained in big boxes on tables on the stage. I had this image of the tables being overturned and the degrees scattering all over the place in a big, jumbled pile. "You have fifteen minutes to find your degree. All unclaimed degrees will be burned immediately! Go, Go, GO!" (Everyone leaps out of their chairs and stampedes the stage.)
There were a few more that I can't recall now. I'm sure everyone around us thought us quite mad. :-)