Wednesday, July 31, 2013

There's An Advantage To Waking Up At 4

... I'm just not sure it's that big of one.

Alternate title: Insomnia Is One Of The Complications Of Cat Snack Fever.

For years, our Maximum Leader and I have had an understanding. She gets one midnight snack per night. More than that and she gets pillows thrown. I used to avoid these by free feeding her, but she overate and ended up looking like a zeppelin. I tried not feeding her, but a hungry cat with nothing but time on her hands in the middle of the night can find all kinds of ways to be annoying.

So I get up once a night and give her a snack. Unfortunately, the smaller of the Catican Guards has discovered she likes the taste of cat food. After I give the ritual petting and snack to our Maximum Leader and then go back upstairs, the little Guard goes downstairs to see if there's some leftovers to crunch. The complication here is that sometimes she decides she needs to use the facilities, but she's afraid of the dark.

When she's being a good girl, she comes back upstairs, jumps into bed and licks me frantically to let me know. When she's being a bad girl, she just uses one of the throw rugs by a door and then comes upstairs, jumps in bed and quivers in fear, knowing she's done something bad. Sometimes you can't tell the two behaviors apart. This morning was one such time. She came upstairs, quivering. Not wanting to punish her, I got back up and took her downstairs to go outside.

That sounds simple, but it isn't.

Going potty outside at night is a ritual, just like Cat Snack Fever. Before we go to bed, trying to avoid night time accidents, I take the smaller Guard outside*. If she does her job, both Guards and our Maximum Leader get treats. It's a cause for great rejoicing. Everyone gets all wound up and runs to their Designated Treat Muster Areas. That's fine right before you go to bed, but it also happens when I take the smaller Guard out in the middle of the night. It's quite the production.

It also wakes me up fully. There's not much more energizing than two dogs and one cat rushing about excitedly. If it's after about 3:30, I'm pretty much done sleeping for the night. And that's how we end up with blog titles like this.

The picture of innocence.
* - I always tell her a story when I do. It always involves a little dog who goes potty outside and gets a treat. It's a different story every night. No, the loony bin hasn't called my house. Why do you ask?


Doo Doo Econ said...

Your pets are actually doing all of this to make you feel needed.

meow: "Time to give the human some play time, come-on guys."

Woof:"ok, but can it wait until I have to actually pee."


K T Cat said...