Tuesday, February 19, 2013

I Keep Weapons Within Reach When I Sleep

... because if I don't, I can't get any sleep at all.

Now I don't want you to think our Maximum Leader is spoiled. She is most certainly not spoiled. She is a loving and devoted little lady and behaves with the utmost decorum at all tim...

Oh, who am I kidding? She's spoiled rotten. She likes to wake me up at night and demand a snack. Since way back, I've given in. I discovered that she was extremely persistent and could make noises in all kinds of ways. In my old apartment, she used to push against the closet's sliding door, making it go, "thump thump thump" until I got up. Now she lightly paws the bedroom door, plucks the bed or gently pokes my arm with her claws until I get up, which I do.

The rule is one snack per night. There are times when she feels that is unsatisfactory and demands more. For those times, I have an arsenal of throw pillows next to my bed.

Throw pillows. Aptly named.
It typically only takes one of these, accompanied by me snapping my fingers loudly. I'm trying to associate snapping fingers with the concept, "cut it out!" and have had modest success. There are times when simply snapping my fingers will cause her to duck and cover, but most of the time, she needs a salvo of pillows to get the hint and settle down.

And if you think that's bad, you should be around when the smaller of the Catican Guards has a licking spasm in the middle of the night.

11 comments:

tim eisele said...

Sometimes, I wonder what our ancestors were thinking when they made pets out of nocturnal animals.

Kelly the little black dog said...

KT,
my Mother has a little spray bottle. When her cat pesters her too much she need only reach for it and the cat retreats.

K T Cat said...

Kelly, despite her advanced age and arthritis, our Maximum Leader is fast. She'll pluck at the bed right next to me. Before I can swat her, she's run off towards the door. A short range weapon like a spray bottle won't do. I need indirect artillery fire to suppress her attacks.

Jedi Master Ivyan said...

super soaker: the deterrence you need with the required range.

K T Cat said...

LOL! I'm sure my wife would approve of that. A massive stream of water shooting across the bed, dogs barking and rushing about, the cat streaking for the hallway ...

Yep. That works!

:-)

Jedi Master Ivyan said...

I never said it was a perfect solution :)

Mostly Nothing said...

Our princess, Gypsy, has her food dish full at all times.
For a very long time, she wouldn't eat until you went down there, shook the dish to evenly distribute the food, for there could not possibly be the bottom of the bowl showing, and then pet her at least 3, preferably 4, times.
Occasionally, she will wake one of us up in the middle of the night, for there must be petting, but never for food.

K T Cat said...

I love these cat stories. They're all the same. Cats were once worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.

As for our Maximum Leader, if we let her free feed, she'd turn into Zeppelin Cat.

tim eisele said...

Yep, and cats have been doing the same things to us for hundreds of years:

http://quigleyscabinet.blogspot.com/2013/02/manuscript-moggy.html

Anonymous said...

I had a cat (an Abyssinian--they're a little crazy) who not only could open the cabinet doors, but figured out how to open them after I put those little latches on the inside for earthquake preparedness. He hated cat kibble, but loved the dog kibble--he'd walk underneath the dog to eat or drink out of her bowl. He could only use the litter box once, after which it HAD to be scooped. (I had six little litterboxes to get me through the day.) He liked to sleep on my face, which frequently had me gasping for air.) When he wanted food, he wanted it NOW. NOW! NOW! He liked dogs, and I did take him on walkies, and a couple of times to the dog park. His name was from an Amharic word for honey, but I called him Ellerby--short for "Little Rat Bas***d." But I really loved him. He died a few months ago, and I still miss him terribly.

K T Cat said...

Tim, loved the link. Going to blog it later.

Anon, so sorry to hear such a little character passed away. Your story is one of the reasons I love cats. They live their own lives. You have to fit in with them as much as they do with you.