Monday, April 02, 2012

A Strategic Bombing Campaign Against The Neighbor's Dog

Our next door neighbors have a dog. Well, at least it looks like a dog. A small, black dog. We're not sure if it's a dog or some kind of malevolent spirit in canine shape. In any case, it's a horrid dog and it barks all the time. I mean, IT BARKS ALL THE TIME.

We've considered several options in dealing with this Threat To All Sanity, including poisons, guns and my animal-loving daughter's personal favorite, a shovel to the head. Instead of something along those lines, this evening as it was vigorously orating in its backyard, we took a Tupperware full of dog food and launched it, one handful at a time, over the fence into its yard.

To eine Loudenhounden, it must have looked like it was raining kibble. After we spattered their lawn with victuals, the dog retired to its back porch and laid down. It didn't wander about the lawn picking up treats like kids on an Easter Egg Hunt as we expected, it just lay there calmly.

We're not sure what this means. Perhaps it was satisfied that it had propitiated the Sky Dog with its barking to the point that it had been rewarded with treats in the grass and it could now relax.

Update: Never mind. It was only resting its vocal cords for an hour or so. It's back at it. It might be time for a more direct approach.


Jedi Knight Ivyan said...

Can you give your neighbors a citronella anti-bark collar as a hint?

I just looked, they're on sale over at Amazon for $36. Might be worth it, for the peace of mind.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to hear of this vexation. I'll be praying for you!

Foxfier said...

And I thought the rat-dogs next door were bad... they act like they want to fight the Princess, but she hasn't been alone after they've dug out from under the fence yet.
(One idiot tried to rush ME. Got about three feet away and realized I wasn't running, I was winding up for a kick. Small dogs can still cause MAJOR damage, and I'm not going to bleed out on the driveway while my girls are in a car just to be nice.)

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